CHAPTER 51: THE HEARTH AT DAWN & THE CLOCKS OF MAJORA
Dawn broke across the timbered ridges of The Margin in long, fractured shafts of amber light, burning away the pine-scented mist that clung to the Appalachian sanctuary. Inside the central log house, the iron woodstove radiated a steady, comforting warmth, the aroma of sputtering batter and burnt dark sugar filling the common room. Pierre stood over the cast-iron skillet, a linen towel tucked into his stonemason's belt, his brow furrowed in severe Parisian critique as he flipped another golden pancake onto the platter.
"It is an insult to call this a true crepe," Pierre muttered under his breath, poking the edges with a butter knife. "Without fresh cream from the valley, we are merely eating sweet mortar. But after yesterday's rum disaster, at least no one is breathing alcohol fumes across the table." He glanced sideways toward the porch where Alfie was polishing her needle rapier with a scrap of oiled leather, her carved cedar joints clicking softly in the cool morning air.
At the end of the trestle table, Eusacles was hunched over a steaming mug of chicory coffee, the five-dollar quartz wristwatch laid out before him on the scarred pine planks. Thanatos' divine handiwork had settled deep into the cheap casing; the micro-engraved Greek ward runes shimmered with a faint amethyst pulse whenever the second hand ticked past the twelve. Eusacles tapped his inventory sheet with a blunt pencil, his forehead creasing in profound bewilderment.
"Doc," Eusacles said, looking up toward Professor Dravin, his voice deadpan with genuine barroom shock. "Look at this sheet. Am I reading this right? Did I really fight through a satyr strike team in Pennsylvania and three Gorgon thralls on the turnpike completely naked?"
Professor Edward Dravin lowered his cup, peering over the rim of his wire spectacles with scholarly amusement. "I assure you, John, you were wearing your denim trousers and boots on the road."
"No, I mean the armor, Doc," Eusacles insisted, holding up the crumpled parchment. "My heavy plate. The chain shirt. The shield. None of it was toggled on! I've been running around like a tourist on the Vegas Strip while satyrs were swinging broadswords at my chest. I'm a fifth-level paladin, and I was relying on sheer abdominal density!"
"A testament to demigod constitution, my friend," Pierre called from the stove, sliding two pancakes onto a tin plate and setting them before Eusacles. "Or perhaps divine ignorance. Though now that your father has blessed the watch with protective wards, perhaps you will avoid being pierced entirely."
The heavy oak front door creaked open, and Theodore stepped over the threshold, an armload of split hickory cradled against his canvas coat. The old surveyor stamped the mountain damp from his boots, his weathered eyes crinkling beneath the brim of his felt hat as he took in the table. He moved behind Eusacles' chair, placing a calloused, steadying hand upon the young demigod's shoulder.
"A man who walks the temporal crease needs more than luck on his back," Theodore said softly, his voice carrying the calm weight of two centuries anchored in timeless rock. A warm, golden luminescence bled from Theodore's palm into Eusacles' collarbone, settling like an invisible mantle of mountain granite. "Take the ancestral boon, son. When the timeline tries to shear you away, remember that the land remembers who stood upon it."
Across the table, Professor Dravin touched the lapel of his tweed jacket, feeling the subtle heat of his own attunement. Fastened beside his faculty pin was a small bronze brooch depicting three obsidian pomegranate seeds. As Dravin channeled a breath of academic focus, a thirty-foot radius around the hearth rippled with protective twilight, bathing Pierre, Alfie, and Eusacles in a reservoir of temporary vitality.
"We will need every scrap of resilience we can muster," Dravin said quietly, unfolding a series of municipal survey maps Naomi had left on the corner table. "Naomi's briefing was explicit before she left for dawn perimeter checks. The next severed fragment of the Loom is located in modern jurisdiction. Specifically, inside the high-security evidence locker of the Washington, D.C. Metropolitan Police Department."
Pierre groaned, resting his spatula on the stove rim. "Mortal police? With badges, radios, and bureaucracy? I would rather face another hydra in the reeds. In France, you cannot even bribe a clerk without filing three duplicate tax receipts."
"It is worse than municipal bureaucracy," Teddy said, leaning over the planning slate with arms crossed. "Naomi's intelligence from the gray web confirms we are competing against three brutal pressures: the clock to locate and extract the relic before the evidence cage seals, the precinct's automated security lockout if the alarm trips the grid, and the Redactors already closing in on the breach."
Teddy traced three concentric marks across the grease-pencil diagram: the narrow window to locate and extract the anomalous flight handcuffs, the station's automated security lockout threshold, and the relentless pursuit of the Redactor hunter contingent shadowing their trail.
"The relic you seek is a pair of anomalous flight handcuffs," Teddy explained, his tone measured and grave. "Logged during an unrecorded commercial flight that vanished from radar over the Atlantic and re-emerged forty minutes later with all instrument clocks stopped. The moment you enter the transit corridor, you will be racing the clock on every front."
Alfie slipped from her porch perch, her rapier sheathed at her hip, her painted cedar face unblinking. "Then let it come sniffing," she chirped in her sharp Cockney cadence, tapping the pommel of her blade. "We've got pancakes in our bellies and a heist to pull in the capital. Pack the bags, boys. Time to catch our ride."
The pot then grows if nobody gets it. So like usually nobody gets it.
And so that pod just keeps growing.
So then it keeps growing and then whoever wins the pot has to buy a bottle for that price.
Nice.
So like if the pot grows to 2,000 bucks, they go and buy a \$2,000 one and they all like share it.
I dude I just am not I I don't think I think there's I think there's
I don't do that.
a cap to like how much you'll spend on and I think this is true for pretty much every liquor is like I feel like there's a cap on how much you're going to spend on it for the quality that you're going to get.
Yeah.
Like I I feel like it's it's exponentially diminishing returns where it's like oh yeah,
Oh yeah.
here we go. Like the more money I spend, the better it tastes. And then it just hits a point where it's like I could spend, you know, \$200 on this bottle or \$2,000 for this bottle.
Is this bottle going to taste \$1,800 better than this bottle? Probably not.
Yeah, the uh Paul from my wedding. I don't know if you remember Paul, but he is like a big big whiskey drinker and spends like like he'll buy like thousand dollar b like tens of thousands of dollar bottles. I'm just like, but he'll he'll buy him to sell them, too. Like he he like makes money off of it,
He Yeah.
which is good,
Yeah.
but also annoying. He's the one who's buying. You can't buy anything in the store because he already bought it all.
Right.
Uh Luke, the link doesn't work anymore, by the way.
for.
I don't know if it should or Foundry,
Gotcha. Let me drop in.
and it may just be that I'm trying to use an old link, but
I'll make sure this is the same that's on
Boundary Gaming. Let's see what I had.
FoundryGaming.dns.org. Huh. It's the the link itself looks the same.
I just logged in. I wonder if that has a difference. Like the game master has to be logged in.
Oh, maybe. Yeah,
I was able to get on
you have to like I bet it is. I bet it's hosted on your machine. So, like you've got to be in.
Yeah.
Make sense. And you said we're level five.
Mhm.
Yeah, I'm doing a little little of that prep right now. Okay. Say hello to my friends. Hola. Hello. No, let them see you.
Hello.
You're Say hello to my friends.
You don't have to be seen. Being heard is fine.
No, she has to be seen. He's wearing a predator shirt.
Oh, nice.
They keep ones.
Hola. Nice retro.
Okay.
this. Have you taught her the the fang fingers?
The fangs. No, I haven't told her that. You tell me. It's good. It's hotter than Be careful. in the end. What? It's a lot of It's better. I see. Anyway,
What?
Foreman, I just sent you something. It's more of a request slash opinion than it is uh anything else. So,
Mhm. Mhm.
you don't even have to let me know anything. You can just take it into consideration and do with that information what you will. You don't have to tell me. You don't have to tell me either way. I will play on as it were depending on how the DMC's fit.
Let's see.
What's up, dudes?
Ola. Huh?
I did. Foreman, what are you drinking?
cider with rum in it.
Nice.
Yeah,
Angel's envy.
we had this apple spider and I was like,
Angel's envy and uh rye and a hot chocolate that Maria made me. Not together, but mingle moves.
What is that mingle mood?
Yeah,
What is that?
they're like a like a in a functional sparkling social beverage, which sounds like a THC drink,
Right.
but it's just got lion's made ashawagandha and elia.
what do they call those?
I don't know what any of these things are.
Adapt adaptogens or whatever.
Yeah, it's got some adaptogens in it.
Yeah.
neuro neurogenics or whatever.
Let me go see what I've got.
Yeah, probably one of my my the better like NA fake being healthy for me drinks that I've
Nice.
found.
Nice. We got a banise in the fridge. I was just like, we got this apple cider, got this rum. Let's do it. All right,
That's very fair.
some more cleaning up to do. I wanted to do something I can was going through my notes and completely forgot was the once
Hope your spider gets here soon.
you unlock a kind of birth feature, birthright feature to give a legend. So, let me run through those. Let me know if I forget anything. You have the reversing petrification from Pierre and the kind of like
Mhm.
monster um eyesight more or less monster sense. Um, two there. And then we got the two from or the one from the watch that we learned last session besides it turning into a morning star in the first place. So, um, and then the pomegranate pen was pimp HP within 30 ft. Is that right? Something like that. Trying to find it.
Uh, let me see.
It was something like that.
Don't know if I put that in my thing.
That's what I we got last time at least if that's what that was from
Yeah.
I was not here last time.
No, the um in the stage.
at the beginning of the fight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
At the beginning of the fight that No, that was from Is that from the pen? I think so. I think so. Yep. Cool. And I think there's just one there. And then and besides the spell casting for Alfie is the inscription where she
Of
can where she can store one on her person carve directly into the wood. So that's one,
Four boxes.
two,
all of us, Sophie would be the one to make it as a podcaster.
five would be the one to what?
She'd be the one to make it. She's too good.
As a podcaster, you said that was like
as a as like a character u actor. I don't know.
an actual play.
Yeah. Yeah.
as a voice actor.
Yeah. Mhm.
Yeah.
Voice actor being part of it for sure.
Yeah.
As a voice acting player in a insteading of podcasting of ridiculousness.
This
That's fair enough, John. You can keep it. Yeah.
to be fair,
Uh,
entirely my own fault. But I was like, man, I feel like I'm really fat. Like I've played Paladins before and I was like I feel like I'm just really fragile this go around and then I was like looking through the stuff I was
didn't real quick.
like oh yes I did not tugle on any of my starting equipment so I've just been naked out here.
Yeah.
It's like this this checks out. But I but the reason I told you was so that if you I don't want it to be like a magical automatic thing. I wanted you to work it into the story when you see the appropriate
Noted.
time.
Noted. I got you. All right. Anyone Do either of you want to give a a quick recap? It's been a little bit, but you but I know William wasn't here.
So, and honestly, the AI's favorite episode, I think,
I think so. Yeah.
the ratings.
Um, so what Dre Draven I think was the last thing we saw from him. He was talking to the professor in the courtyard and something must have really really scarred him because he kind of zoned out for the next few hours and that had a interrogation of the octopus lady, the the not hydra, the not gorgon synapse creepy redactor thing. Um, and we learn some things about the master, who they serve, whose job is to or who's not job, who who has decided to fix history where the ends didn't justify the means. And he's creating this like utopia. And and then we walked the lost roads. We found Susanna from the museum, who is the girl that Pierre reverse petrified. And then we picked up some berries on the way. And then we made some pancakes and some berries. And Mike put rum in both the jam and the pancakes. So it got Alfie super drunk.
And then uh then Pierre got his his uh javelin mended by us. Uh, and you can pick up from what happened at the homestead. John,
Uh, sorry. I am currently messing with the importer.
I'll go. Uh,
Uh, yeah, sorry. I'm I'm messing with the importer, but I did make those uh pan or those pancakes divine and Pierre took exception to that. I think I got stabbed.
Yep.
Yeah. Yeah, that did happen.
with with the javelin that you just repaired, uh, no one messes with Pierce Pancakes. He he ranted about not having the right ingredients for croissants. And Mike was going to go get some some eggs and flour.
Yeah, I think the the ingredients are the croissants. Uh I had a uh I had a conversation with debt with good old dad uh and uh was kind of asking about, you know, try to get some information about all what was going down. Uh, I also had a very confusing moment with Useles because Ukles was trying to get information on Pierre's mom because Pierre kept asking people, "Do you know who my mom is?" And uh,
Useles was under the impression that uh, Pierre didn't know who his mom was. And that's what he was trying to figure out. Turns out he was trying to threaten people, but Pierre's really bad at threatening people. He was like trying to be like, "Do you know who my mom is? You should because she's like a mafia style, you know, French person. Gorgon sort of person and uh was just like asking his dad like do you know who this is and it was a whole thing. Anyway, it was a whole thing. Um turns out you're terrible at threatening people. Did not communicate that well at all. This every time it happened is just like what does he why does he keep bringing up his mom when we were talking to adversaries? But all right, this must be really important to him. Um talked with his good old dad about what's going on. He he he was very he explained kind of what was going on, but also that like the gods were kind of generally just trying to stay out of it.
Uh not not their bag to to directly interfere with mortal affairs. Um, but also kind of give a little bit of a uh of a behind the curtain view of like, you know, there there are definitely things going on and uh they're definitely things going on and they're not quite they're affecting the world but not quite affecting the gods quite yet. Uh, but again, like he said, they tend to stay in their own lane. Um, yeah, I think that was Oh, yeah. And uh he upgraded my watch and gave me my little what do you call them Luke? A boon uh birthright.
Birthright.
I got got another birthright. So uh yeah. So, all in all, that's uh I think that's that's I think that's everything. Um, we almost left you, I think, but we but we did it. We did it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Mhm.
Pier Pier grabbed you. That that that's in the in in the data.
It's very very important for your character to understand that you are not left there.
That's good. And then I I you said something about we figured out what my pomegranate pin was or something.
Yeah. So, you have three. It's the three seed signant and one of the options to use those seeds it's like per long long rest essentially like per adventure more or less um is uh I forget what the level was but it was like temp HP to everyone within 30 ft. Um but I will get you actual statistics when I find them.
Okay.
It was 10 last time because I think Yeah,
10\. Perfect.
but actually it was 50 I think.
10 it is.
Sorry, ignore that.
You're good. All right. So, um, sort of out of character, off topic, what what do you all want to do in terms of this episode? Do you want to just roll with see how far we get or
I I liked William's idea and I think that makes sense to me pretty much like our our whole it it's logical to to me to say like our whole way of infiltrating now is just to sneak Alfie into
Mhm.
places. Um, so I'm I'm good to like make that call. The thing we're looking for is the handcuffs in the locker at the Washington DC. I guess that was the last part. So Naomi told us that there the next Yeah.
Oh yeah, the most important part that we left out.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's me.
Yeah. The next uh uh relic was a set of handcuffs that were featured in a podcast which were used to lock up a guy who may or may not exist, who may or may not have prevented or caused a hijacking, who may or may not have crashed a plane or not crashed. I think the plane officially didn't crash. It last it landed at uh at Reagan and they have the handcuffs that they were zip tied handcuffs or whatever that they did or did not use on this guy in the evidence lockup. And that's our next artifact.
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up nicely.
Uh so if Yeah,
Thank you.
I think like uh
My plan, Blades of the Dark Wise. is is to essentially ask you all, do you want to go like social, stealthy, or like cause a distraction? What's kind of the way the the engagement terms that you want to do? We'll roll to determine how the start is. And um I know that was a long text, but essentially there's three clocks, like three pies that based on your actions can fill in various segments of the pie based on roles and decisions. And the three ones that I put out were the prize, the threat, and the hunter are the three clocks. And um we'll
Okay.
Do we all have to be the same level of like stealthy
load out.
loadout or or we could all choose one?
Oh,
You can all choose. Yeah, you can all choose independently. And then in terms of like your your engagement strategy, if that's what you're asking, then you can pick multiple for sure.
Uh just give me the the explanation and we'll we'll go from
All
there.
Um,
right. Should we uh in character?
yeah,
Of course.
that's what I was going to say.
In character, of course, because the AI hates it.
It does not appreciate out of character talk.
Okay, let me get in the zone. Okay, lassies. I'm just kidding.
I was wondering what the pit was going to be.
I've had an accident this whole time.
Um, yeah,
I've just never talked in character.
that would be so funny. Uh, I if if we're at the breakfast table the next morning, I will say like Pierre is sitting there uh very reluctant. He does not want to go. He does not want to leave the safety of this this like location. Um, and if we say Alfie's having his first hangover, then y'all might find uh Pierre just like melancholically, reluctantly making the pancakes in the morning.
And um uh I don't know if if if y'all would walk in there, but like yeah, that that the vibe that you would know from Pier last night is he he's on the I don't even want to go train, let alone the load me out and kit me up. Although we did have a good training montage. We should figure out how that figured out that he didn't get convinced. I forgot.
We yeah,
That's it.
we did have a good training montage at the end. And uh for context, one last thing that was not mentioned the the reason that Pierre doesn't want to go is that um Theodore had shared after he had found two relics. There was a very creepy creature kind of faceless creature
Oh yeah.
that there you take over please
Oh. Oh god.
Yep.
do.
Oh god. Yeah. Yeah. In in character or is that out of charact? So Doc,
Go for it.
here's here's the thing, Doc. I know you were a little like in and out there for a bit, but um I'm not sure if you saw the horrifying creature that had the body of a a feminine body, but no face and yet all the faces uh in its black like tendril fingers and the entire just body was a blacked out inky slop and uh there was like hundreds if not thousands of faces behind its blank face. Like think of a face of a mannequin with no features and just apparitions of faces going back and forth all around its uh its face and constantly changing. Turns out that thing is horrifying and uh other people here at the margin have have run into it and had problems. Turns out once you start collecting some of these things it starts trying to hunt you down.
hunt you down.
Yeah.
Interesting. Interesting. Uh so
And it has a name that I have forgotten.
Major.
Majora.
Oh, that is very good.
That is very good.
I quite like it.
That's not what I meant. I meant the creature itself has a name, but I guess we'll call it Majora now.
Majora and its many masks.
Um yes it was uh quite terrifying. I made a you see I thought it was a dementor from the area. You know, I had just had the binge watching with Alfie and uh I think I accidentally cast a patrolless charm at it, but it did it did not appreciate it or really use any. It still wanted to do uh it did not bother it, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.
Ah,
Oh s\*\*\*.
yes. There it is.
Uh um it looked like this. It was in my nightmares. I drew a picture this morning and I I have to say, you know, the training montage yesterday, it gave me some confidants. I feel like maybe I could use my spear a little more effectively than I could previously.
But uh this morning I have to say I'm not feeling very good about leaving the margin. I mean look we have a delightful pancake and John. So I think um if we are going to do this the priority for me is uh they what they told us is they are no longer interested in the altifacts. They are interested. vested in us. And so priority one, do not let the person find us. Priority two, actually successfully retrieve the artifact. Always have it in escape plan ready. And that is the only way I'm leaving.
Okay. I uh yeah, I hear your concerns. That does sound very frightening. Uh I think if we have a plan going in, I think we can maybe uh do a little better this time. We know what we're looking for. Uh, I think we've got the blueprints of where we're going. Do we have those blueprints or do we just
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
What?
Yeah. They're the I I've been reviewing them last night and and and here here they are. You I know you all you all can take a look and we'll take a few days to to kind of formulate a plan and before we hit the lost roads uh or uh I should say you all hit the lost roads, but um yeah, I was able to download these from the public. um uh let's call it G gray web and um I found these these blueprints and it seems to be pretty up to date at least as far as I can tell and I cross referenced them with a few films that have happened within the the um precinct. So everything seems to be up to date and and yeah, so take a look and and formulate your plan. I'm I'm here to help if you need
I I like to think that like this whole time Pierre's been slowly cooking breakfast, fresh up and Naomi's just been like tapping her foot in the corner impatiently like shuffling a page every so
blueprints. Did someone Did someone say blue footprints?
often at the appear just been stone rolling her all morning. uh employ let's see journals Naomi's clue board
Naomi,
uh
where in where in this uh police department are we looking? Do we think it's going to be or we don't know?
Oh, so you can see these these blueprints here. There's
you need to update our viz but thank you for doing this I was just about to add it to the like global termission view
Does it need uh what shadows? Yep. Gotcha.
yep yep
Visibility.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah.
Thanks,
So,
Naomi.
um, my thought is that there's these these archive stacks here on on the second level of of records, but I can't decide if they're going to be in the archives yet or in the evidence vault. Like it's it it's odd because this this time has been or this this uh crime has been has happened for several years.
It's been a it's been a long time, but it's just now kind of re-emerging. So, I don't know if it would be in archives. or if they would kind of bring it back and open up this cold case and and have it in the evidence vault. I don't know.
Naomi, you're not going into like a urban planning public space career, are you? Cuz these blueprints you got are s\*\*\*.
What the f\*\*\*?
The stairs the stairs don't even match up where the stairs go.
Well, maybe they're maybe they're not accurate.
Professor,
I don't know. These are the best I could find.
Okay, cuz on level three there's an outdoor staircase, but the fire exit doesn't lead to them, and the stairs don't continue on any of the other levels.
I did not know you are a head architect,
I took a couple of architectural uh studies courses as some uh elective
but there's a
You look at the outside of the the outside rendering of the building and it's like different floors like shifted.
It's not like a straight up building.
Oh s\*\*\*, you're right. Sorry, Naomi.
Um, so archive room and evidence fault were the two.
Yes.
CHAPTER 52: LOST CREEK & THE WONKA CROSSING
The descent out of The Margin sanctuary led through a narrow hemlock ravine where the mountain air turned abruptly frigid, smelling of wet slate, sulfur, and stagnant pondweed. Beneath a canopy of dripping black roots, the party reached the mouth of a subterranean limestone cavern where Lost Creek rushed out from an invisible crevasse, its dark water swirling in obsidian eddies under the gloom.
Tied to an iron ring driven deep into the cave wall was a narrow, flat-bottomed wooden punt. At the stern stood a tall, gaunt figure draped in waterlogged black oilcloth, clutching a long ash steering pole. His face was entirely lost beneath the shadow of a waxed hood, his breathing slow and mechanical like the bellows of a forge.
"Is that... Charon?" Eusacles whispered, his hand instinctively dropping toward the Thanatos watch in his vest pocket.
"Charon's cousin, more like," Naomi's voice echoed from the trail behind them as she adjusted her field pack. "He operates the aqueduct junctions along the Lost Roads. He doesn't come up to the cabin for Thanksgiving, but he knows every submerged culvert from Pennsylvania to the Potomac. Step aboard and keep your hands inside the gunwales. If the water touches your skin, the current remembers."
The travelers boarded in silence. Pierre took the prow, his heavy bronze javelin resting across his knees, his dark eyes scanning the subterranean current with habitual Parisian suspicion. Dravin sat amidships with Alfie perched beside him like a wooden sentinel, while Eusacles braced his boots against the ribbed oak floorboards, testing the newfound weight of his heavy paladin armor.
With a single shove of the ash pole, the boatman launched the craft into the main channel. The daylight vanished instantly as the cavern ceiling slammed down, replaced by ancient Roman masonry arches that blurred into Victorian brick sewers, then modern corrugated steel spillways. The walls wept foul mineral brine, and the subterranean acoustic roared with the sound of rushing planar transit.
"The tracking clock," Dravin observed quietly, watching the oily black surface of the water ripple against the hull. "The planar pressure is rising. Look at the wake."
Beneath the punt, the dark water began to curdle. Globular, viscous masses of tar-like ink bubbled up from the riverbed, separating from the current like predatory oil slicks. Dozens of faceless ink-blot minions crested the surface, their tendrils stretching toward the gunwales, hissing as they caught the scent of temporal anchors.
"We have company!" Eusacles shouted, drawing his morningstar as a blob of thick black sludge vaulted onto the forward thwart.
Pierre rose smoothly to his feet, balancing on the rocking punt with the effortless grace of a mason working high scaffolding. His grip tightened on the ash shaft of his javelin, his eyes narrowing as he drove the bronze point straight through the center of the creature, splattering it into harmless spray against the stone wall. As the next wave of ink-blots surged from the depths, Pierre did not cry out in fury; instead, a strange, theatrical cadence seized his tongue, echoing Gene Wilder's hypnotic madness through the flooded tunnel.
*"There's no earthly way of knowing..."* Pierre intoned in deadpan French rhythm, lunging forward to impale another crawling mass against the timber, *"which direction we are going... Is it raining, is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing?!"*
"Pierre, what in God's name are you reciting?!" Dravin shouted over the roar of the water, raising his hoplite shield to deflect a flying glob of caustic sludge from Alfie's face.
*"Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing!"* Pierre continued without missing a beat, spinning the javelin and catching two ink minions on the backswing, sending them tumbling back into the foam. *"Are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing?! Yes! The danger must be growing, for the rowers keep on rowing—and they're certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing!"*
Alfie cackled with delight, darting between Eusacles' armored knees to sever a grasping tendril with her needle rapier. "Sing it, Pierre! Give 'em the whole bloody cinema show!"
Eusacles brought his morningstar down with a thunderous crunch, obliterating a swarm that had begun to climb the boatman's robes. The boatman did not flinch, merely leaning into the steering pole and banking the vessel into a violent ninety-degree turn down a roaring vertical sluice gate.
As the punt leveled out into calmer water, a hiss of black residue sizzled against the port side gunwale, eating through an inch of cedar like battery acid before burning itself out. Across the cavern water, an unnatural chill gripped the subterranean air, the invisible boundary of the transit corridor shuddering as their pursuit tightened.
Somewhere deep in the folds behind them, the faceless hunter turned toward the scent of their crossing.
Okay. Um, so with our I think set plan of stealthy uh getting away quickly, we have our initial set for the like daggers requirements.
Yeah, once you Yeah,
Um,
once we have that essentially once you determine your entry point or kind of our starting point,
yeah.
essentially we flash forward to after you've done question
Yeah, we were all to see how good it went.
mark question mark question mark amount of planning and we just start rolling figuratively and literally.
Yeah.
Hey,
Um, entry point. Well, maybe it seems to me, Professor, you have identified a secret access point. Maybe the fire uh control went into a false wall and we just can break in. No, that is not what I want to do, but I do want to have an emergency plan.
See, it looks like from from what I'm thinking, the the fire exit goes down on the from the rooftop down the
Of
third floor and then maybe it's like one of those New York apartments where the ladder is hung up and it has to come down rather than there being a firm
Oh, okay.
staircase probably.
course. Of course. That makes so much sense to me. That is very like Perry as well.
All right. Step one.
Oh yeah.
Are we doing a daytime heist or a nighttime heist?
And It sounds like Uh, I would like to say daytime. It was already pretty scary at the night. Um, here is my um, we have this golden ace. It is a a lateral doll. No one really expected this to be the secret weapon to our
I
infiltration.
Yeah,
Um,
but during the daytime you're going to have easier visibility and probably more people working during the day.
There'll probably be less people working during the night, though they might be on higher alert.
But uh you hear me? Go ahead,
I uh I I'm
professor.
I'm kind of coming into my uh into my own here. Um, let me let me see. Uh, how would I know this without knowing this? Um, I think y'all have just experienced when you've been around me that you can see at night regardless of if you thought you could.
It's happened before. That first day we were able to walk around in at night.
That's right.
Yep.
Yeah,
Yeah. Yeah.
in the forest it did happen.
Yep.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. So, yeah. I don't know why y'all can see at night around me, but I don't think it's going to be dark if you're if you're if you're close by me.
That is a good that's that's a good point. Like we definitely can see better at night whenever we're with the professor.
That is true. I I was um thinking about these scary tentacle person appearing in the darkness. It was just more scary than um the hard to see. But if you think here is my my my thought about this. They are probably going to have security cameras and we are not a super fancy heist people here. But what we do have in our advantage is the mist. If we use this to our advantage, they will not know what to make of whatever the camera picks up. So what if um and the thing that I don't know how to solve is if we are not sure where the handcuffs are then we cannot use Alfie to infiltrate them. So maybe that is what our job is to figure out uh where the handcuffs are and then from there and maybe that is something we can do socially uh asking the person or I don't I don't know maybe someone knows something there. Um but either we get Alfie into the evidence lock air which is quite easy.
He runs around the cameras don't know what they're looking at. He touches the uh angles no problem. They probably even let us down there with them. I don't know. Option two is getting into the vault. I don't have a get answer for that. I don't really know what to do about that one. The AR has to get in somehow. Uh
Who? does appear that the stairwell is not behind security checkpoint.
Mhm.
So we could uh
What if um um I'm wondering if um
Naomi, can you check the the gray web again and see if they have any job postings?
Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. Let's see. I I think this one might just be on their website, though. I don't think I need to dive too deep. Um, let's see.
I have an alternative idea after Naomi you finish your research.
Yeah, it looks like there's not a part like a specific job posting, but it looks like maybe they're
Pretty
they're hiring some there's like another TV show that's going to be filmed there at some point. Um, supposedly there's there's some another show. You know how everyone loves a cop show. So, uh it looks like maybe there's some hiring jobs for for extras for that.
That sounds pretty fun.
useless, but pretty fun.
Pretty fun. I am a pretty good doctor. Everyone says so. Um I'm not sure if I'm ready to be child famous yet. Um so that is a option.
Okay.
Option two could be this was my as our thought. It was um we go in there and uh professor you we one of us could have committed a minor misdemeanor and um the requirements is that they lock up the uh zadal until the legal courts have uh decided who gets to own it. Alfie does a little bit of investigation in the evidence vault. If it is not there, we at least know. Now, our new plan is getting into the other location and Alfie can just go and uh maybe deactivate the uh security system that seems to be down here or or
That's the evidence intake workstation.
unplug the power. I mean, for the old police precinct, maybe a little dangerous. There's also a vent here. and drain. Oh, he could just go and why don't we just have Alfie uh learn how to use a computer and they can go and uh read where they have placed the uncuffs.
Pretty
Yeah, we could we could uh we could try and get Alfie taken as evidence.
I got you.
didn't put in the evidence vault.
Got you. Yeah. All right.
good.
Yeah,
That was pretty good.
Do it again. Yeah, my head hurts so much
I don't think that's a horrible idea. get get Alfie taken as evidence and uh
And uh how are we going to get Alfie taken as evidence?
and It is a domestic dispute where professor is trying to take the doll. I want to keep retention of the doll and uh you sac you are maybe a lawyer you know or
He's musically just
you have a bad idea. Um I will break a window with Alfie. I'm from France. They cannot hold me here forever.
Can't we uh we can take the truck, right? Or I guess we're going to take the lost roads
Yeah. I mean, yeah, you could drive. I I you're welcome to I think the you could take the Lost Roads as well. I'm sure there's plenty of of places that you'll end up nearby. And you can always take the the Hermes Express as well. Um yeah,
Okay. So, we're going to commit a crime with Alfie.
Mhm.
Get Alfie committed his evidence.
Mhm.
While that's going on, what are we doing
Are we are we going to have any form of communication with Alfie?
now?
Oh.
Um, I have not the uh leveled up yet. Let me see what I got.
Um, there there is a a piece of blades that I that I included there, the loadout section.
Oh, right. Yeah.
You could use some sort of receiver on Alfie as as a loadout item.
Nice. So, when you say receiver, do you mean that Alfie can hear us, but we can't hear Alfie, or are we assuming that like we we actually have two-way comms or one-way
Yeah,
comms?
you could do you can do either one. I think that's reasonable to be one of the items for for two people.
Phenomenal. Phenomenal.
Burn it.
I'll communicate with Alfie. But now, what crime are we going to commit with Alfie where Alfie will be taken as evidence?
Thanks.
And we smash Cut. is standing in DC a few days later.
Love it.
All three people and one person holding Alfie. Um you have just exited the um let's actually make a little loss roads roll here.
Okay,
Oh no.
We'll do one straight up.
you are in the back.
Um uh professor we have had a bad look. Maybe last time you were not really paying attention but I really think that um you should uh guide us today.
All right. Well, sorry. We smash cut to the lost roads. You are standing at this like there's like a sign stuck in the ground that says um lost creek and it seems like there's just like a tiny like trickling amount of water. I'm thinking like the creek between junior like into going into senior camp is kind of what I'm picturing.
All right. All right.
So not trickling but like a very small creek.
It's flowing. It's flowing.
And um and you see there's nice is that there's the roll. All right.
Yeah,
Um, and you see,
there's a a lady with with no face, but all the
and you see there's um there's a on this on this little creek bank. Um, you see Naomi with you, of course, showing showing you off like, "Yeah, I'm so excited. That sounds like a fantastic plan you guys came up with over the last couple days.
I think that's definitely going to work. You go go get some work done and we'll um and we'll we'll regroup when you when you get back and and feel free to message me if any if any of you can. And you see um she's
So she also got a burner radio is what you're saying.
she's contactable.
It's okay.
Yeah.
Um and um you see uh a boat like a a boatman in a in a dark hooded figure boating on this very tiny creek going going down.
No, I have heard this. I am not ready to become immortal. Um, Mr. Chiron, it is not my day today. Uh, I have a very pleasant evening. I have a no draarus for you. Um, and I just pulling the sleeves of the other two guys.
Oh, no. That's not That's He's like a He's like a distant
That's That's not That's not Tyron.
cousin. and uh and he's he's kind of one of our are lost roads navigators.
This is like another way to get through the lost roads.
How is he driving that in this creek?
I mean, you know how the lost roads work. It's It's like kind of a
We really don't. I think that's kind of the problem of us getting lost is does anyone really know how the lost roads? It doesn't matter actually. It's fine.
Pierre takes like a a flower and dips it into the water.
It It's It's just water. It's just water.
Oh, yeah.
No River.
This is fine.
Yeah.
This is clearly not even our sticks. Okay. And you see your cousin is cool.
the as you all jump on,
Huh?
you see the the hooded figure doesn't it it doesn't say a word at all. Um presumably at least you hops on the boat. He slowly reaches out a fist to give him nucks. And then he grabs the paddle and gets ready to to start paddling.
I am sort of terrified and envious of your relationship with your cousin. Just go. My cousins always try to eat me or turn me into stone.
Man, you wanna you want to talk about that at some point? Seems like you got a lot to get off your chest there, bud.
Um, you know, actually, yes, it would be quite nice. I'm here to um discover my parentage, but um maybe after we infiltrate this
Yeah. Yeah. How about how about after we pull this off, we sit down for with a nice drink and we uh we talk through some things because I feel like you're suppressing a lot right now. Did you just say your cousins tried to eat you or turn you to stone?
Have you have you been missing all of the hints about the desperate need for a therapy that I have been um saying for the last two story days?
I thought you were just French.
I I messed
And as as he puts down the first like it's just like a long stick like a gondola kind of thing.
pushes it and immediately the boat just like rips forward way faster than you should on this tiny creek that all of the sudden turns like starts to get wider and wider and wider and then into this like it into this
that.
like like lake of overgrown trees, overgrown canopy and then continues continues pushing through almost like a mangrove forest. And it changes again as as sort of historic walls start building up around you. And then all of a sudden the trees kind of fall back and you're paddling down like a a Greek aqueduct um with just like a tiny bit of water left in this in this forgotten aqueduct. And then the walls continue to climb and climb and you're slowly completely concealed. And um and as you're sort of concealed, you see these little dots start kind of like bouncing around out of the water and kind of like these dark spots in the water just start like bouncing around and then they start bouncing up onto the onto the boat. And then one and then two and then three and four of these little, as you know, little ink blot minions hopping up on onto the edge of the boat.
And um and the the boatman gives a stern, quiet, silent point at the minions.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're on it.
Meanwhile, he's like, "There's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing or which way the river is flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane blowing?" Uh, and probably Pier's throwing up.
This is not a chocolate factory.
just glazes up there with his hands up. This is not a chocolate factory as Pierre's like whispering in the background the Wonka lyrics. And then uh I not this guy. So again um and I start Pier starts javelin poking them off of the edge.
And as you know, these inkplot minions are absolutely nothing. They once once you make contact, they start to sort of like fizzle back into the water and drop into the water and you continue going and the boatman continues at the same steady speed with no sort of no sort of hints of that.
And then all of the sudden once they come up they're able to just like barely brush one of you, make contact with one of you and spill back into the water and they all wash back and disappear from the water. uh which is starting to become a little bit more brown and dark and a an odor, a smell starts to fill the air. And uh the boat arrives and all of the sudden uh there's a a ladder that comes into view um up towards a manhole.
was our rowers keep on rowing and they're certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing.
And the boatman stabs this the stick down.
And it's close.
And the boat comes to a complete stop right at the edge of this stairwell. And he points silently.
Um
Yeah,
Wow,
I I guess this is our shop.
guys.
I
I didn't know he'd bring us right to the exit stairwell of the of the police station.
secrets. I did not know.
I uh I fist bump him before I get off and I climb up the ladder.
Uh, real quick, when when the one of the ink blobs touched us, did were we able is that just like so much chaos that it just happened and then they were all kind of vanishing or Okay.
Yes. Yes.
Okay.
Uh,
All
everybody check yourself. Make sure there's no ink left. It It may act like some sort of a tracer for the others.
That's a very good thought.
right.
Also, have you ever read the lyrics of this creepy Wonka song? I pulled him up on my iPhone as we were going down the crazy ride. Um, was a little too on the nose there at the end.
Yeah. Uh quick uh quick tick check for everybody for blobs of blobs of
H.
Yep.
ink.
Yeah.
Do we do we see any
Which one?
Yep.
Which one did it touch?
uh roll a each person roll a uh what should be athletics or acrobatics? How how you're going to avoid it? Even if you want to if you want to make up a different skill, how you're going to avoid being touched.
I'm being athletic.
Pier's going to use his new uh his new skills.
And do we know these timers on the left which one is which or no?
prize prize threat hunter.
Okay.
Okay.
And um so Edward was focused on maintaining balance on the boat and uh reverse the top two uh or the top and the bottom, sorry. Prizes green, threat orange, hunter red. Um, so as it as this single ink blot just brushes, no damage or anything, nothing like that, but just like you could almost sense like a it's like reaching out to like touch to just to like quickly feel what it what it is. As these sort of creatures don't have any eyes or anything like that, once it gets that touch, they all immediately disperse and flow behind you.
as you're continuing to move, they'd all stop. And um as you might be able to notice, one of the hunter pie slices has been filled in.
Oh no.
And as US climbs up the ladder and pushes on the manhole, you hear as a car flies over the top of the manhole comedically
Oh.
as you poke your head up.
Yeah.
Oh s\*\*\*.
Oh, I love the Ninja Turtles. This feels just like it. Does anyone have a pizza? Let me go.
But as As you turn or as you poked your head up,
Let me go.
you saw you were at the manhole directly out front of the DC police precinct.
All right, guys.
It's this little compass rest.
Well, I have found my favorite way to travel around the uh the Mistlands. Uh we're definitely using him again.
Yeah,
Lost roads. More like sewer system.
it was more
Anyway, if it works, it works.
like the river stinks.
Hell yeah. You know what?
That That was a legend.
You know what? Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic.
Um, okay. Who is ready to get the first American? Mr. Minire. This is kind of like a right of passage. No.
first.
Yeah. Uh, as a teacher, I'm going to stand to the side. Y'all go for it.
Oh, mama will be so proud of me. I will have something on the record that we will have to expunge through some community service. I'm ready. Um, I think Pierre grabs Alfie and and uh waits till like here's my plan. use. I'm going to once Alfie wakes up from his stupair or maybe before, I don't know. Um when a cop comes out, I'm just going to um I don't know, like lightly hit him against his car. Maybe I don't actually want to get in that much trouble, but I want to be taken in. Or maybe I'll just break his uh window with his head.
Do you want to be taken in or do you want Alfie to be taken in as evidence?
Oh, we could tie a brick to Alfie and say the stupid
Oh god.
pigs.
We don't have to get caught.
Yeah,
We can just have Alfie be evidence.
Exactly.
you do it.
That's what I'm saying. We we throw the rocks through the window and uh we we eyed back in Zuire until Alfie gives us the all clear.
Have we thought about just making Alfie a suspicious object that they can pick up?
What are they going to bring that into Evans and not just bring him to like a goodwill?
All right, brick. It is
You are the best thrower. Uh
All right, real quick. Loadouts. What What would you all pick?
um I
I'm going to say DM rule. Alfie has to have light for the items not to get taken.
Yeah.
CHAPTER 53: THE STORM DRAIN & THE SHARPIE INSCRIPTION
The subterranean journey terminated not at a riverbank, but at a vertical cast-iron service ladder bolted into weeping concrete. Pushing up through an unbolted maintenance manhole, Pierre poked his head out into the pouring autumn rain, blinking against the harsh sodium glare of municipal streetlamps.
They emerged into a narrow asphalt alleyway choked with green commercial dumpsters and sodden cardboard. Forty yards across four lanes of rain-slicked commuter traffic stood their target: the Washington, D.C. Metropolitan Police Third District Precinct. It was a foreboding slab of 1970s brutalist architecture, its reinforced concrete facade stained with decades of soot. Half a dozen blue-and-white patrol cruisers were parked in angled stalls beneath sodium floodlights, their radios crackling in bursts of static through the wet night.
Crouching beneath the metal awning of a delivery dock, Professor Dravin spread out a sodden blueprint retrieved from Naomi's cylinder, holding his pocket flashlight in his teeth while rain dripped from the brim of his woolen cap. His scholarly finger traced the white architectural schematics with practiced intensity.
"Look at this seam," Dravin whispered, tapping a section of the upper mezzanine. "This building was retrofitted in 1984 after the municipal annex fires. But the orientation marks do not align. The ground floor intake faces true north, but the secondary records wing is canted thirteen degrees to the northeast. That is not bad engineering—that is an authorial patch. The Redactors spliced an entire evidence locker from an erased timeline directly into the municipal records cage."
"So the handcuffs are in there," Eusacles said, peering through the rain at the heavy double glass doors of the public entrance. "Problem is, they got metal detectors at the desk, two armed bailiffs in the foyer, and a German Shepherd sniffing bags in the Sally port. Even if I leave my morningstar in the alley, my watch alone is going to light up their magnetometer like a Christmas tree."
"And Pierre cannot simply walk in and speak French until they give us the keys," Alfie noted, wringing rainwater from her calico dress. "So how do we get eyes inside the cage?"
Professor Dravin looked down at Alfie. His analytical gaze shifted from the blueprints to the tiny wooden automaton, a sudden, inspired academic stratagem taking shape behind his spectacles. He reached into the inner pocket of his sodden tweed overcoat and produced an oversized, chisel-tipped black permanent Sharpie marker.
"Hold still, Alfie," Dravin said calmly, uncapping the marker with a sharp snap that released the pungent smell of industrial alcohol.
Alfie took a step back, her glass marble eyes widening in alarm. "Oi! What are you doing with that black wand, Professor? Don't you come near my polish!"
"Lift your right foot," Dravin commanded with the unquestioned authority of a tenured department head. Before Alfie could protest further, Eusacles gently caught her by the waist, lifting her wooden boot off the asphalt so Dravin could seize her ankle. In thick, unyielding block letters, Dravin began writing directly across the cedar sole of Alfie's shoe.
*"PROPERTY OF PROFESSOR EDWARD DRAVIN,"* the ink blossomed across the wood grain, *"DEPARTMENT OF CLASSICAL EPIGRAPHY, STANFORD UNIVERSITY. CAMPUS CONTACT: 415-555-0192. REWARD IF RECOVERED."*
Alfie remained entirely inert in object form, unable to protest or make decisions as Dravin turned the wooden foot over and labeled the cedar sole with his Sharpie—much like a child marking the bottom of a toy boot—establishing indisputable contact provenance in case the anomalous relic was discovered during the infiltration.
"It establishes indisputable legal provenance," Dravin explained mildly, recapping the marker and admiring his handiwork. "If an officer finds an anomalous wooden doll inside a metropolitan precinct, it will be treated as suspicious contraband or a potential explosive device. But with my faculty contact information, provenance documentation, and cataloging numbers clearly inscribed, they are bound by municipal intake regulations to log you as lost property or seized physical evidence. You become an item of legal custody."
Pierre rubbed his chin, nodding slowly in reluctant appreciation. "It is absurd. It is profoundly pedantic. Which means in an American police precinct, it will work brilliantly."
"Now," Dravin said, turning his gaze toward the motor pool across the street where three patrol cruisers sat glistening in the downpour. "All we need is an intake crime."
Yeah.
Yep. Good with it.
Nice.
Come on. Messages.
I feel like as the as the smooth talker of the group, I also need to be Right.
Okay.
I need to be able to blend in. Don't you agree, team?
It makes sense to me. Um, I think that you are often
I would argue, professor, that you are an expert in uh it seems to me that you're an expert in whatever Alfie is uh because I imagine he's going to be very confused when they find this as evidence and they might need someone to in inspect this evidence later on.
Um, this iron neck because I back in Barry, everyone loves me. I'm very charismatic, but here in America and no one ever is persuaded by my arguments. So, um, I'm thinking I'm going to prepare for inky blob of darkness. And uh, professor, do you mind if maybe I borrow your shield and armor?
Looks very good on you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Uh I'm assuming that Alfie can't really uh make decisions for himself at the moment. So, um, I'm going to take a Sharpie out of my Oh,
Watch out for the water.
I'm gonna take a Sharpie out of my bag and I'm going to turn Alfie around and like where where Alfie's label is or where I assume there's a label,
Mhm.
I'm going to write property of Professor Edward Draven and I'm going to write down my phone number like if lost.
on his shoe.
Yeah. On the on the on the bottom of his foot.
Andy.
Perfect.
That'll be that'll be so great next time when Yeah,
So, there's something that's not carved in,
I'm gonna Yeah.
but
Yeah,
Um, so I'm gonna I'm gonna write that on there. Uh,
perfect.
Okay. Uh yeah. So I think here will go heavy.
All right. Use please.
Oh man. Um,
If you're not sure, just stick it standard.
yeah, I'll probably stick with standard.
Yeah. Yeah, I would say so.
I think that probably fits us just fine.
Four slots. Oh, again, you don't have to announce what the items are. will just run into things and you're like, "Good thing I packed my
multi-tool that does everything.
Mhm.
But one of Alfie's is the radio and then one of somebody else's.
Yeah.
I think it's mine.
Uh yeah.
One I think one of mine is also the radio.
Okay.
Cool. All right. So, Alfie is prepped. You're going a somewhat social slash stealthy route of investigation.
Wait, we're in the sewer, right?
Yeah.
Hey guys.
We we've popped out.
You're like
Hey team, before we do this whole plan, we're in the sewer and there's a sewer drain in the basement.
Should we just see if that's here real quick while are sitting here in the sewer.
Ali can let us in from there. Yeah.
for here.
Yeah.
It's worth worth a shot,
Yeah.
right?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
All right, Alfie, execute plan 1B. See if there's a sewer sewer drain is accessible.
So Alfie sort of scampers off uh Let's do Let's do She can do a roll. Alfie can do a roll. Uh, of course it does the secret rolls, which is it. Alfie finds this pipe. That's the drainage clear out, but it's like maybe three inches wide. So, it would be tough for Alfie. Alfie could probably get get through it, but it would be tough to like bring any tools to kind of use leverage to get through that. Great.
Makes sense.
She could certainly go in and and spy from it, but couldn't get into that room.
Gotcha.
Sure.
Um
Thank goodness I brought a crowbar.
So, did uh did we did we roll for like the brick and smashing in and and what happens?
But okay.
Did Alfie already Yeah,
So that that's the that's the plan.
yeah,
Written on brick throwing into a cop car window.
that's I think
That's the Got
we'll we'll we'll knives in the dark from here.
it. And um all right. I think that is a sort of a risky role but um I think it could have a it could be very successful. So we'll set we'll say like a DC12 is throwing it.
Yeah, I think so.
All right.
Yeah.
Go athletics 12\.
Please or you have to wipe the bug air and then or flex the bug.
Thank you.
I don't know. I the commercial one time
Maybe.
14\.
Yep,
Okay,
absolutely.
good.
Brick sails sails through and sort of smashes into this through this cop car window. The alarm start blaring. Um, no, no one was in obviously in that cop car. It's kind of parked out front.
I'm so glad you said obviously because I was like we never did check.
I would hope you would aim for one without someone in it. Um,
Depends on how quick I want that reaction to be.
True.
and and you see kind of some like is this day daytime or night time? Do we just did we decide night time?
Uh, right before shift ends.
Okay, gotcha.
It's evening headed into the night.
Yeah. Early enough that they they can still go and take it into lockup without being like, "Ah, it's a problem for tomorrow.
God. Okay, I hear you. I hear you. Good thought. So, as this sails through, hits it, alarm goes off, you see a a kind of attendant in the kind of lot um over by the door or over by like the the operation gate check-in area.
like immediately pops up, looks around and is like looking for the source of this, but I think on a 14 kind of missed where it where it came from. It came in so fast. Hit broke it. Walks over to like check out what's going on. grabs the brick, looks at it, reads it, and then looks at the doll, and is is honestly more conf What did you write on it? Like pig or something on the brick.
Yeah. Yeah.
under.
On the brick.
break. It was Yeah,
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
the
Yeah. Look.
and and it and it was clearly in different ink and handwriting than my property
Yeah.
Got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
of Yeah.
His was worn and weathered like it's been there for a while.
Yes. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.
And this So he he picks it up and is looking at it, sees what's written and kind of just like and then looks at the car and is just like shrugs and walks into the into the precinct.
Um,
Right
It was a great throw.
let's see.
Are you part one complete?
Let's see. Let's see.
now we just got to get in there or at least maintain communication or we can wait and see if they actually call the professor
Um, you wait. You wait a few minutes and you see the same guy kind of walking out with another officer and a uniformed officer. walk out to the car kind of pointed out like looking around, gesturing, not really saying anything. And the officer frustrated. Um, you can't make out what they're saying, but they're having a conversation about it. And Edward gets a call on his on his phone. Is uh is his uh I guess you guys are probably far enough away.
What? is his ringtones.
Oh, great question.
That was pretty good. Bad to the bone.
What what was the uh what was the one that when Oh, like with the flip phones you could pay for was it like there was some rapper who did a bunch of
That's funny.
a bunch of actually
Oh god, that was it.
I got one it it just plays the lonely I'm Mr. Lon
poor guy. Oh, professor. We all look at him and just like,
How I think you just gonna look at both of them and be like, I know I need therapy. Are y'all aware that y'all need therapy?
"Hey, be quiet. He has to be serious for this phone call.
Amazing.
But when when Pphanie is not in Hades, my ringtone does change to what does the fox say?
We can unpack that at a later date.
Yeah. Uh hello
Yeah, this is uh the DC police precinct. We've got an item here of yours. I am unsure if you had anything to do with uh something that just happened. Where's your uh can you give me a a quick sit rep on uh where your current location is?
Well, yes. I'm I'm touring the Smithsonians today.
I'm a professor.
And have you lost any items recently?
No, I I I don't Oh, well, I did have a No, no, I have that right here. Um I I I don't think so.
All right. Well,
Nothing I can immediately see.
I guess I must have had the wrong number.
Right,
All right. Have a good one. And hangs up.
That's so fun.
The plan. The entire plan.
right, right, right. Sorry guys. Uh, I I call him back.
Let's see. 911\. What's your emergency?
Uh,
Oh my
I lost my doll.
I I seem to have misplaced. Well, you just called me. I was calling you back.
Oh,
DC police DC Police Department.
I apologize. We just assume everyone is having an emergency. Let me bounce you over there. And uh you they they hit a button and
I hit I hit record on my phone. I'm like, I'm going to make this funny ringtone.
your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line.
This will never happen in Barry. Uh the night scar is taking it very seriously.
Yeah. Uh uh hello. This is DC precinct central.
Yes. Sorry. You You just called me about a missing item and my daughter did drop her doll. I'm sorry.
Uh you uh uh Dr. Edward Draven, is that correct?
Yes, that's me.
Uh okay,
That's me.
good.
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
I Ah,
I've been I've recently been told it's an action figure.
okay. Noted. Noted. Action figure.
You didn't you didn't catch it in doing any action,
I uh well,
did you?
you know, unless it can throw itself, um I don't think it was doing any action.
It seems to be caught up in a a bit of a predicament. But if you just want to come grab it, we're we we had a just a a kind of random act, but you know, things happen these days.
Oh,
Uh it got sort of Yeah,
good heavens.
we had a a a situation that it that it was involved in, but it's not a problem. I I you seem like a very reasonable person. We might ask you a few questions once you come here, but uh it it seems like this was all just a bit of a misunderstanding that and and your daughter's um action figure got got caught up in a in a bit of a a wrong wrong place, wrong time situation.
So you're you're saying that it's evidence in a crime.
Uh no, just a an item that uh we we seem to have have found. uh it didn't seem like it has anything to do with this this sort of other situation that we're investigating. Um yeah,
Oh, good. It wasn't involved. That's good to hear.
it doesn't again unless it can throw itself. I don't know. Um anyway, yeah,
Oh, pull it.
if you just want to come down to the central department,
Pull it.
uh we'll we'll get you this item back right away.
What time do you all close?
Well, I'm out of here in about an hour. Um, but uh we obviously it's a police precinct. We'll always have someone on on call here.
Gotcha. So, I just come to the front desk and ask for it and you'll have it there at the front desk.
Yep. Yeah, absolutely. We might have someone who who ask you a few questions, but uh but we'll we'll get it returned to you. No problem.
Great.
Yep. All right. We'll see you.
Real quick before you go,
Yep.
uh,
Absolutely.
my daughter's very upset about this. C, can you just I'm going to hold the phone up to her ear. Can you just pull the string on the on the bottom of the action figure for me?
Uh oh. Yeah, of course. Here it is. Yeah. All right. It is that what you were Is that what you wanted?
Yeah, thank you.
Okay.
That's my doll.
Yep. Happy to help. All right.
A action action figure.
Uh Whoa.
Action figure.
It just felt like it almost jumped out of my hand there. Sorry. Um anyway,
Oh,
well, yeah, we'll see you when you get here.
did you did you move it did you move its leg all the way back? like almost like you're breaking its leg.
Um Okay.
Yeah. Don't do that. Don't do that. It It It
Oh, I you know, I might have I might have.
Um anyway, um yeah, we'll see you when you get here. All right,
Alpha, you need to get to the evidence room.
and hangs up.
All right. Bye-bye now.
Byebye.
No, you hang up.
Use is just going to look at the professor. You've You've never committed any crimes before, have you?
Uh, it unless learning is a crime, then
Lying to the police about having a daughter just means they're going to expect
Oh s\*\*\*.
to see a daughter later. Pierre, you have a wig.
I have been practicing my acting less. It can go even higher with my voice.
Congratulations.
See if they ask me my gender,
Congratulations, professor. You have a daughter now.
I will hook a full French on them. Um but um
So,
How Yeah. How long do you wait before you walk in
uh, at least an hour. I definitely want the this lady to be gone,
the next next person?
but Okay.
Yeah.
is it um okay no we're okay. Uh I I am I'm wondering about this too.
But they're not putting it in evidence.
Professor,
And I am thinking um good thing that we went to the Smithsonian earlier today and raided the lost and found and we have all these other bricks and then we will make it the crime of the entire night and until they take the brick into the evidence locker. I can't keep all of the bricks at the front desk, you know.
why don't you call them as. You're a professor of the Smithsonian. You said it was your action figure, right? Is it too late to explain that a a Smithsonian wouldn't, I don't know, use some professoral knowledge of some ancient civilization action figure went missing.
It was a the famous police chief's action doll from the Smithsonian. That was
I was thinking more of like an Aboriginal or indigenous uh people's uh action figure that belongs in the Smithsonian because that that would be evidence because it's been stolen.
right.
Or we can just have Alfie break in.
I am saying the same thing but it should be a something uh police related.
It's too late now.
So is that
It's just it's it's it is his daughter's action figure. That is what he told the police. All right, professor.
All right.
What's the next move?
After you wait an hour and show up and as um uh you you hear as you're sort of walking in, someone's walking out and he's like, "All right, yep. I'll see you. I'll see you see you tomorrow." Um, you see a woman sitting at the front desk as you all walk in. Yes. Uh, how may I help you?
Wait, not all of us. Just me,
Yeah.
Just you.
Yeah.
CHAPTER 54: THE BRICK DIVERSION & MELD INTO STONE
In the shadow of the delivery dock, Professor Dravin knelt in the alley rubble, brushing aside soggy cigarette butts and broken bottle glass until his fingers closed around a solid, red clay construction brick. He weighed it in his palm, testing its heft, then uncapped the Sharpie once more. In bold, jagged letters across the pitted red surface, he wrote a single word: **PIG**.
"Classic," Eusacles whispered, shaking his head with a grin. "Timeless American vandalism. You're really embracing the life of crime, Doc."
"Historical causality frequently requires direct action," Dravin murmured. He squared his shoulders, stepped to the mouth of the alley, and peered through the rain at Cruiser 47 parked fifteen yards away in the precinct lot. With the disciplined windup of a man who had played varsity baseball for Oxford before switching to archaeological field surveys, Dravin hurled the brick through the night air.
*CRACK-SHATTER.*
The brick pulverized the driver's side window of the cruiser, showering the front seat in a glittering cascade of safety glass before thudding heavily against the floorboards. Instantly, the cruiser's horn began a deafening, rhythmic blare, its blue-and-red roof lights strobing against the wet brick walls of the precinct. The heavy metal security door of the precinct banged open, and two uniformed officers burst onto the tarmac, slickers flapping, hands resting on their holstered sidearms.
"Hey! Alley! Someone hit forty-seven!" one officer bellowed into his shoulder radio.
In the shadows, Dravin did not run. Instead, he dropped to his knees beside Alfie, pressing his open palms against her wooden chest and the surface of the tagged brick that Pierre had retrieved from a nearby trash pile. Dravin's eyes turned an opaque, milky violet as he channeled his fifth-level transmutational power.
*"Meld into Stone,"* Dravin incanted, the archaic syllables vibrating through the wet pavement.
Alfie's small wooden form dissolved. Her cedar limbs, brass joints, and calico dress did not vanish; they liquefied into an emerald resonant ripple that flowed directly into the mineral pores of the red construction brick. The brick absorbed her entirely, its rough clay surface showing not a single seam, hinge, or rune—only the crude black letters spelling out **PIG** and a tiny knot of wood visible only under a microscope.
Dravin rolled backward into the deeper gloom of the storm drain culvert just as two flashlight beams swept the pavement. The lead officer kicked the brick, swearing into the downpour.
"Here's the brick! Got 'PIG' written on it in marker! Grab an evidence bag, Miller. We gotta log this for the shift lieutenant before the glass gets rained on."
With zero suspicion, the officer scooped up the heavy clay brick, dropped it into a heavy-duty yellow plastic evidence pouch, and zipped the seal shut. As Pierre and Dravin watched from the rain-slicked shadows across the street, the officers carried the bagged brick through the security gate, past the metal detectors, past the sleeping K-9 unit, and directly through the double-bolted steel fire doors into the precinct's evidence processing bullpen.
Inside the brick, safe beneath two inches of baked shale, Alfie's sensory consciousness hummed with silent, razor-sharp anticipation. Phase one was complete. The package was inside the fortress.
right?
Yeah,
Yeah.
it's you.
Uh
Yeah. Hi. Um, I'm here to pick up my my daughter's action Take care.
Yes. Um Carl did let me know that someone would be coming by for that. I have it right here. Here you are.
That person did not sound like a car to me.
Um if you want to um if you want to ask um if you want to uh sort of sorry not ask sign this out. Um you can sign this this little piece of paper here and uh you'll be able to retrieve it and and uh take it take it back with you.
listen. Um,
Yeah. Do you want Do you want to flash back?
no, no, no.
Okay. All right.
Let's let's roll.
All right.
Um, I've got a question for you. I don't know if they explained to you the situation that this is my daughter's action figure.
All all it says on the sheet um or on the on the note that um Cal left me. Um uh is that uh I assume you're Dr. Edward Draven.
I'm following my I assume you're Dr. Edward Draven. Is that correct?
Present
Yes. All um all Cal said was that it is daughter of Edward Draven lost at Smithsonian or near Smithsonian. Um and then has the number written down. Uh, Um, that's all he left for me. So that's all I know.
So, when I told you we were at the Smithsonians earlier, I did lie a little bit.
Yeah, it's it's,
Technically,
you know, don't we all? It's it's all right. Just a part of being human.
we were actually at the spy museum.
That's a great one. Yeah.
It is. It is.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um, and I may when I got the call that this action figure had been involved in a crime and hung up the first time, I may have lied and told my daughter that the action figure was evidence in a Russian spy operation and that's why it has all the
Oh, sorry.
catchphrases. Um,
Okay.
which I know is not your not your problem,
All right. Right.
but if you could put it in evidence and I'll come back tomorrow with her and like I've kind of played out this whole thing of how we're going to come here and and and she's going to be a part of taking down a Russian spy. Uh, and maybe you can like bring her down to the evidence room or like I don't know. I know you have a job,
I I'm mean
but Thank you.
that that's not really something we do. Well, I Hey, here's what I She's going to love this. She's going to love this. Um, and she like kind of rolls back behind a little wall and grabs out a few things and um grabs a pen, writes something down. Uh, and then rolls back from the wall, picks up Alfie, drops it in an evidence bag, zips it shut, and hands it to you.
and it says uh it's like in a a classic evidence bag and it says Russian mafia on on the evidence bag and says I I don't know how old your daughter is, but my daughter would would love something like this. She would really get into it. So I I this is kind of all I can do right now, but I I hope this helps.
Okay. All right. All right.
Great.
I um out of character real quick. I think we need we need to hit flashback here. And I I'm thinking option one is something extremely drastic, which I don't want to do. Uh and but I think like meeting this person that you're talking to right now is why we waited to get into the precinct. And so, um, I'm wondering if there is like a, uh, I don't really have like an idea, but I I I was thinking like a a Makea-Wish foundation angle for this. Um to make them feel really guilty.
Um, yeah, I do want I do want to like make sure because I don't John, I think you played in that one.
The Mr. X uh like single campaign or two shot,
He did
three shot, whatever it was.
Oh god, they all blur together. But I think Oh, give me a little bit more.
golden the golden throne one.
Oh.
the toilet on the boat on the cruise ship.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah. So, like I just want to make sure flashbacks make sense in terms of like you could for example in this situation I what Luke is saying like flashback to have caught this person before they go in and like talked that talked to them outside of work, bribed them, whatever it may be.
right?
or like the evidence attendant or the person checking in evidence or the the guy at the impound lot sort of thing. So like those sort of ideas where in this kind of few days of planning prior to this happening, you can flash back into those days
Flash so you could so so yeah if I'm remembering correctly it's something along the lines of like flashback Pierre met the met this receptionist early and you know was posing as a Makea-Wish Foundation uh counselor
Right.
or whatever who met this person and was like hey we you know we're working with Makea-Wish Foundation and you We're really trying to make these things happen and there's a young girl who is really interested.
But that would be you because I'm the young girl,
Yeah.
right?
Yeah, that's true. That's true. Uh so yeah.
So that would be Yeah,
So flashback with the
Can Can we flash back and just forget that I answered the phone call horribly?
we're down the rabbit hole now.
other the other flashback the
We're digging the digging the hole deeper.
other flashback we could do is uh I don't or after I throw this brick, I don't run away and avoid the cops. I tried to get arrested and taken into the holding cell which gets me inside the building because that
Yeah,
gets me in the building and Alfie in the building. Maybe not as evidence but
probably still cuz you've now committed a crime
not the first time.
or they at least have to like hold your hold the all.
And if I do it late enough and I act drunk enough, chances are they're just going to throw me in a drunk tank anyway.
Mhm. Mhm. Um and then Okay. So if if if that was if that happened, so you're in the if you were in the holding cell, then the other angle we could play is the job offer, which could be the acronyms of pig are the name of the TV show, and you're just a super fan. And uh Pierre gets the job at the act as on the the show that's coming to film.
Interesting. What does pig stand for?
places I go and it's all about Alfie's journeys.
like the flat Stanley thing from second grade.
Yes, exactly.
I love it.
It's so stupid.
Hey, if it sounds stupid but it works, it's not stupid.
What what's the alternate route to getting Alfie in the evidence room?
You punch her in the punch this person in the face.
You stuffed my
Take it. I said take it in. No, no, no. Um,
We can have Alfie start counting down from 10\.
I was just thinking uh
What's it mysterious ticking noise?
um
I don't know if that gets you to the evidence room, but maybe the bomb squad.
uh it's either that or we just start throwing more things that were taken from the Smithsonian lost and found in in hope that amount of them makes it more than just a one-off. That's They were remarkably chill about taking a break through the the front window.
right?
I just feel like it's DC. Like this stuff has got to happen.
That's fair. That's fair.
I mean,
Um
you didn't you didn't see the brick anywhere with Alfie. Like, the brick was taken somewhere.
Oh, wait, wait, wait,
Hey,
wait.
I'm missing my brick. Uh,
Okay.
if y'all could tell me where that is, that'd be great.
Uh maybe that's recconable. Like when they separated Alfie from the brick, uh Alfie said something and that the evidence locker guy just got so spooked that he like wouldn't wouldn't take it apart.
Not my brick.
So,
Yeah.
Don't separate me from my brick.
this this is a little bit of a this is a little bit of a uh stretch because I think I have to do this to myself, not to something else. However, I have a spell at the third level called meld into stone. You step into a stone object or surface large enough to fully contain your body, melding yourself and all of the equipment you carry to the stone for the duration. Using your movement, you step into the stone at a point you can touch. Nothing of your presence remains visible or otherwise detectable.
Interesting.
So if we flash back and I melt Alfie into the
How does Alfie become the stone?
stone into the brick
into the brick.
Yeah.
So he is the brick.
Hey.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. I uh let's use a flashback.
If you will let me do it to someone instead of having it done to myself.
I think so. I think that's fair. Uh we'll use a legend and and and you see I mean there's that's the
Just looking at the legends.
that doesn't include the one cost for
What if it's a It could be mailed him to stone instead of mailed into stone.
him to. Yeah. Yeah. I'll I'll allow the uh initial use of it. Um okay. So, as this all this all happens and as you walk in to get your doll back, we're still keeping with that. They grab, not grab you, but are like, "Ah, yes, you're uh Edward Draven." Draven. I
But if if if the doll was melded into the stone, they don't know anything about the doll.
They would
because he he assumes Yeah.
It's just a break.
He just looks like a brick.
It's just a brick.
Oh, fully in the stone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay. Okay. Gotcha.
Yeah.
Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha.
undetectable. Like it's it's uh
Here we Here we go. Here we go. We um Yeah. Sorry. I'm so sorry we couldn't we I know your daughter lost the doll and I'm really sorry, but all we have left is this shoe. Um that's all we found kind of it was just on the hood of one of our vehicles. It it doesn't matter. Here you go. and and hands it to you um in a Russian mafia
Nice.
evidence
It's perfect. He's going to love it.
Yeah.
Hey, with this spell, can you still talk or anything?
Or are you just in the stone?
While merged with the stone, you can't see what occurs outside it. Uh any wisdom checks you make to hear sounds are made with disadvantage. You remain aware of the passage of time and can cast spells. Your movement, you can use movement to leave the stone which ends the spell. Otherwise, you can't move.
So maybe she can hear,
Okay.
but she can definitely talk. Well, Alfie can definitely still talk if Alfie can still cast spells.
Can't see but can hear and can talk.
Oh,
Yeah.
Mhm.
nice. Alfie. Alfie, come in.
Yeah. All right.
Alfie, give me a Yeah. All right. If you're in the evidence room.
I can't see, mate.
Oh, that's a good point.
Can you hear?
Can you hear anything?
Have you Have you heard anybody?
Did it sound like they put you in a room?
It It sounds like I'm being looked at with. Other bricks.
Oh, how often do they get bricks thrown in police cars around here? All right, stand by. All right, guys. I got good news and I got bad news. The bad news is Alfie can't see s\*\*\*, so we have no idea where he is. The good news is he's not alone. He's got other bricks with him.
Um, We are so good at infiltrating. I don't know why this is so hard in the movies. We have them exactly where we want them.
right? But how are we going to get in there and find these cops?
Um uh
obviously like we talked about with Alfie tonight in the evidence room. Remember what we talked about? Go on, Pierre.
Are we are we flashing back
You remember what we talked about?
Depends how intense this is, but yeah,
um what
it could be a flashback.
I here was a thing I have been working on my makeup kits. you know, professor. I could be um a police officer maybe. Um but we would need some No, it would not work. I was going to say we would need Alfie to get us some identification and then I could go in as a police officer and no one would know.
which we talked about and obviously that wasn't going to work. And then we talked about Go ahead.
You don't want the idea in the back of my head, professor, or something.
So, we're going to flash back to when we met the guy who runs the cameras, the IT guy at a bar.
Love it. This is This is the good stuff.
We paid we paid him off with two drama to give us a to give us a five minute dark period where all cameras were going to go off at a set time.
Okay, let's see. How like how do you did you broach this at the bar?
carefully.
Good. I mean, yeah. Good.
Um, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. What What about this? What about this? What about this?
Who is charismatic here?
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. So, Pierre, uh, for the first time since being in the States, called his mom.
Okay.
Oh,
And he asked his mom if she knew anyone in the States who wouldn't mind being locked up for a day.
heat.
Love it. Okay, we'll flash back to that. Are I assume you just you just call her?
Uh yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Just just phone a car like um I have
Yeah.
a question for you. Well, actually I have a lot of questions for you, but um youles is out back and um he he keeps making weird eyes at me and I don't know if I want to hear him talking to you.
He was asking other gods about you and it was a whole thing.
as and asking other gods about me. Yes.
Um well I mean I know that you said that I am not your real son. I still don't know if you really believe that is true but um well he asked I think his go his dad is a is is death maybe. I don't know. Pretty weird guy. He would be a great statue in the backyard right next to Achilles. It would look very good.
Wouldn't they all? Wouldn't they all?
Yes. Yes.
I I feel like it needs to And I feel like it needs to go like lower here.
Little like little slithery.
Yeah. Yeah.
Seductive friends.
It seems Yes, it seems that the they would make quite a good statue. They all would indeed.
Yes, I have been sending you pictures.
I am I am aware of the one that you speak of and as you know yes I am not your mother of a biological sense but I am quite the I am quite a mother for all intents and purposes aside from the biology.
I am your mother.
Yes. And um I still don't know if I'm quite ready to accept all that. I am still Gorgon in mind and I'm enough in body. See, I've kept Frankie and Joe and Suz. They're all doing very well still.
Ah, yes. I'm very glad to hear that we I I worry about you a bit. Um, I I was hoping this adventure to our one of our many meccas around the world would really open your eyes to to your your background and your future. I know I am I am a a mother to you as as you have other mothers, but not not biologically. But I figured there there may be some some clues or maybe even some appearances while you're out there in the in the United States.
Yes. Um, you know, it has been uh pretty weird. Uh, one day I was in like a Las Vegas and then I was in a all I don't know like um shed in the woods it is um it is horrible in mosa they don't even have parmesan it is terrible here but it is
That's okay.
in it was a very good use shut up get the pier goes into the back room like closes the door but um yeah so you know I I understand that you avail a little bit of worry about me and unfortunately I am not going to make you feel any better with the question I'm about to ask you and you know these Americans they have uh corrupted your porit beer and um well I need to know how to get something into um an a police evidence locker uh like need someone here who can commit a crime for me with it that would not mind or maybe just some advice. I know that you stay pretty clear of the law mostly, but I always thought that was a combination of bribery and um threats.
It's
I I let me send as we'll we'll
This artful
discuss the shed in the woods at the end of this, But let me send
going.
for something that could cause a bit of a stir, let's say.
And I I think we're we can end the the flashback there. And as you um you are kind of waiting outside uh because just Edward came in went in,
CHAPTER 55: THE SENTINEL OF LIBERTY & THE SUSPECT ROOM
Across the asphalt expanse in Bicentennial Park, Pierre and Eusacles crouched low in the wet boxwoods, eyes locked on the glowing double doors of the precinct. Inside the lobby, Professor Dravin was already engaged at the counter, playing the part of a flustered academic searching for a misplaced doll shoe to maintain visual presence while Alfie was processed in custody.
A soft crunch of gravel broke the rain. Moving with uncanny, silent weight through the dripping rhododendrons, a carved limestone figure trotted up to the brush. It was a winged gargoyle—hewn entirely from weathered American granite—its surface pitted with century-old chisel marks. The creature reached out a heavy stone hand, patting Pierre firmly on the shoulder.
"I am here to help," a low, resonant rumble grated from its carved throat.
Pierre stared at the stone hand on his woolen overcoat, his jaw dropping. "Wait... are you literal stone? Did an American Gorgon fashion you?"
"I have been a statue for a very long time," the sentinel replied simply, rain sheeting off its brow. "Crafted by those who remember Barry, under the shadow of the Lady in the harbor."
"My mother sent you," Pierre exhaled, realization dawning as a rare smile touched his lips. He straightened, gesturing through the downpour toward the towering municipal facade across the street. "Our original distraction in the motor pool has stalled. I need you to find where they keep all the bricks."
The gargoyle nodded once. With astonishing agility for several hundred pounds of living rock, the sentinel sprang into the boughs of an ancient oak, launched itself across the four-lane avenue, and descended onto the precinct's roof corner with a thunderous impact. Shale and ornamental brick cascaded down onto the concrete perimeter stairs.
"Keep going!" Pierre hissed through cupped hands.
Scrambling along the decorative cornice, the statue reached the brick portico directly above the front entrance. Rearing back, it hammered its heavy stone fists into the masonry lintel. Once. Twice. On the third concussive blow, a twelve-foot section of the brick portico awning tore loose with a deafening screech of rebar, crashing onto the front stairs in an explosion of masonry, pulverized clay, and shrieking security klaxons.
Inside the precinct lobby, sirens wailed. Half a dozen patrol officers sprang from their cubicles with weapons drawn, shouting in bedlam as emergency lights strobed against the windows. At the front desk, the civilian receptionist grabbed Dravin by the elbow in panicked haste.
"Sir, get away from the glass! Code three at the front entrance!" she yelled, shoving him through a heavy magnetic security door into the back corridor. "In here! Stay down!"
The door clicked shut, depositing Dravin directly into the suspect processing room. The professor blinked, adjusting his spectacles. Sitting on the stainless-steel intake table before him was the yellow plastic evidence pouch containing his red clay brick—and Alfie, perfectly sealed within its baked mineral heart. Beside it lay three other confiscated bricks, each bearing the word **PIG** inscribed across their faces in wildly differing handwriting and ink, where bewildered detectives had spent the evening comparing vandalism evidence.
Dravin tilted his head, deadpanning into the quiet room: "Are any of the bricks missing a shoe?"
Outside, the stone gargoyle tumbled from the shattered awning onto the lawn. Catching Pierre's eye through the rain, the sentinel offered a distinct, conspiratorial stone wink before freezing into inert garden rock.
Bewildered officers spilled through the dust, staring down at the debris. "I guess... there was a gargoyle on the roof?"
Seizing the bedlam, Pierre broke into a low sprint toward the rear fire exit to await the signal, leaving the incursion hanging on a razor's edge as the storm raged into the night.
Mhm.
you see a walking statue like come like jogging up
Nice.
through the I'm I'm saying I'm saying feeling like a little like kind of bsentennial park is uh is like outside of this precinct. So you guys are kind of like hanging out in the park overlooking it.
Nice.
This this like statue comes running up to you and like pats you on the back and just go, "I'm here to help.
When you when when you say statue,
Oh,
do you mean a literal statue or do you mean like one of those people who like cover themselves in silver paint or do you mean like it's a statue.
It's like it's like a gargoyle looking creature like fully stone.
Nice.
uh,
Sick.
two followup questions. One, do I see him with any other visions?
And two, does he start melting?
start melting.
or turning back into not a statue.
Um, as you kind of like It's a good point. As he sort of touches your back, hats your back.
I think if if he ask me like wait all done last time as are you an American did an American Gorgon make you
I've been here a long time. I've been a statue for a long time.
Oh, it's probably like Lady the liberty then you came from Barry.
Ah, at least designed by something like that.
Anyways, I have had an experience with the statues lately. Maybe um we keep the interactions verbal.
All right, sounds good.
But um my mother sent you.
Yeah,
Yeah.
Um,
All right.
the L
so our last plan maybe not working super good. Um, I need you to go and find where they keep all the bricks. I think.
Okay. And you see he jogs across the street like kind of like jumps up actually jumps up into a tree like right next to you, flies across the street and then just does like a um like a Mario like tuck like like butt bump down onto the corner of the building and
The other kid of the pipe.
it like showers bricks down off the corner of the building down into like the front stairs of the lot. I think I found where the bricks are and
Um, okay. Keep going.
and
And as he's doing this, uh, Pier's running around to the backside, waiting for the, uh, entrance to have enough bricks fall out that he can just walk in.
um I don't think this is like this is like an
I I see your game, DM, and I raise you. Break the precinct.
Where once you saw him do this, where would you say tell him to do it?
Uh, I mean, I I don't I mean, wherever he's going, I'll just go to the opposite side because it's either the front door or the emergency exit.
Yeah. I think he's he just goes cuz you're in the park across the street looking at the front door.
Yeah.
He just goes over to like the front like portico above the door and just starts smashing in
Yeah.
to make these loose bricks instead of a brick building.
That will get their attention on. I think it's not exactly what I meant to do, but um we better take advantage of it. Eh, and
He he does like three and like a quarter of this like awning, brick awning like falls in front of the door and alarms start blaring. This is uh with Edward still inside. Um and you see um like people inside kind of like coming out coming out from the door and Pierre uh you're running around to the back but Edward being inside you see a lot of kind of officers come running out from the back room guns drawn to see this um uh and and the the woman who just gave you a a loose doll shoe action figure shoe um like kind of grabs you and
Uh-huh.
ushers you into the into like the this back area back here. Come on now. Flash. There you go.
Yep.
Yeah.
Um, and you see the processing room,
The suspect processing room.
which you see a brick on a table with three other bricks, each with pig written on them in like different letters, uh, like different ink and and clearly different people wrote them, but they're like comparing comparing them. Um,
Are any of the bricks missing a shoe?
yes, the the the brick is in there as well in the processing room. Um,
The one with our handwriting or with Yeah.
yes. Yes. So, we have bricks kind of obscuring the front entrance and a um as he does it a third time and falls to the ground, he winks at Pierre and you and you are running running around to the back entrance of the building as police officers are coming trying to like come out of the front door and just see this
Heat.
like gargoyle down with like a bunch of bricks down and are like I guess there was a gargoyle oil on the top of the building.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like you can you can see kind of the the mist like getting into their into their mindset as they're like
Yeah. Yeah.
just looking very confused at it. Um and I think that is a good spot to end and we'll we'll pick up at full strength next week.
Oh god, I cannot wait for Sophie to get in here and be like, "Hey, so explain the situation." Well,
So,
you're a brick.
you're
We can't
This This involves a lot of breaks, so just hold your breath for a second, but
and uh just a little side note for Pierre, I I assume you and your mother talk a little bit about what's going on and that you're at the margin and she lets you know she's going
Mhm.
to she's going to send a few messages about you being in this place that she hasn't heard of.
Great. Because this pilgrimage makes no sense to me.
Yeah.
And she lets you know it's not this is not the that was not the intention.
I haven't meaning to call. It was just kind of interesting for a little bit, but then I saw my first uh person die and um you know, thought I'd just check in.
little one. I'm so sorry.
I cannot wait to hear this flashback later.
All right.
Go.
I I I apologize. cuz I feel like I did not do a good job initially introducing blades in terms of the flashback system and everything,
Yes,
but I think we'll get Yes.
Yeah,
but think about how much better it's going to be next time.
learn learn by doing.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
I also there is there is a slight uh a slight proof of what you said earlier about the building being like all twisted. Sorry, I've just been looking at these blueprints most of the time.
yeah.
Uh, so north points different like so like in the second on
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Damn.
It's lateral.
the main on the main floor north points up but it's like caddy
Yeah. Oh my god,
Yeah.
cornered and then on the third floor or on the second floor it's squared again and north north still points up and then on the top floor north point.
it's like a Rubik's cube.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A Rubik's cube. Yeah. There you go.
And then if you zoom in, like it looks like it's words, but if you zoom in on half of them, it's like like the wall over here is like braar scooper.
Well, I just like how level two has a door that leads to nothing at the very bottom of it. Like, if that's the second level,
Oh yeah,
there's a door that literally just leads outside, apparently.
I guess to a to a front porico that had an oil on
Ah, yeah. Where the gargoyles are.
it.
That guard was guarding that door to make sure no one walked out.
Is it like is it like this because
Yeah.
And
we're like kind of half in an edit half not like it's
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice. Nice.
It's reacting to you.
Pretty pretty high
Yeah. There there's some there is some interesting stuff here.
resolution though.
Yeah. Yeah.
it's funny how like like how how good it is and how bad it is.
Right. 100%.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's It's one of those things where I feel like it embodies the Well, it's got the spirit.
Yeah. And like as long as the font is over some size, it's right.
Yeah.
Like the big font,
Yeah.
the big font, it does right. And then like as you zoom in on the smaller font is like, oh, it had no idea.
What?
Yeah.
What? Loen. This one here is cracking me up. What? The lounge room.
Where?
Maybe I on the um what is
Which one are you looking at?
this? Level two on the right.
Let's see here.
I'm assuming they're going for lounge room because they're in this break.
But it Yeah.
But then there's also whatever this is.
Yeah. Lounge, I guess.
That's fascinating. Yeah.
The detail anti-slip maintenance walkways.
My goodness.
Exactly.
And there's another uh there's another and it's high friction anti-slip maintenance mainten walkways,
Yeah,
but it's on top of the air conditioner.
I saw that one.
Hey,
And then
sometimes sometimes it's important.
So good.
Have y'all tried reading the technical notes?
where are those?
Bottom.
Oh.
Just read the bottom right of level one public lobby and intake.
Oh, yeah.
Oh,
Just nonsense.
but barely binary
It's just nothing. It's just
Yep. Yeah. Honestly.
I love the scale number. Tech technogical drafting draft.
disco drafting drapist
Yeah.
tech.
Yeah.
You know that that scale.
over here.
The scale is pretty good,
Yes.
too. Technicolor bar 0 to 3.7.5 5,000 8,000
I don't. It's not even 5,000. It's S0000.
Oh my gosh. The beauty of AI.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So good.
The the beauty and the limitations at the same time.
Great use.
Mhm.
DC Metropolitan Police Department precinct to basement evidence repository schematic scam.
And then the scale on the very bottom one is 2 nth of an inch.
Two nights.
Yeah.
And it's like,
Yeah, you know,
Yeah.
yeah.
All right.
29 of an inch or
floor drainage. A great boiler thing.
Oh, north is pointed out and left on the top level.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah,
It which I guess kind of actually rotates it back to square.
it's been
it almost actually squares it back up.
Yeah,
Yeah.
Yeah.
that that one almost squares it back up. The problem
So really it's just level one.
Yeah.
Level level level one is at a different angle than all the other levels.
The basement is built on weird foundations.
Yeah.
Funny. All right. GG.
Yep. All right. We'll set up something next week. I'm good pretty much.
Cool.
Oh, Foreman, question for you. Not D and D related. Are you going to uh the homecoming pride in the pit stuff on Friday?